The Weekend…

Me: What should I do?

James: 2 chicks at the same time.

Mike D.: That is always the answer.

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Josh: Don’t worry, I have the gnome.

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Colleen: Please take care of my husband, and my lawn gnome.

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Me (to Katie L.): It’s very nice to finally meet you. You can totally do better than Brad.

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Frontier Airlines Customer Service Rep: Can I ask how long you were on hold?

Me: 3 hours last night. One and a half hours this morning.

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Frontier Airlines Customer Service Rep: You can get the 6:45am flight tomorrow, to Dallas, have a 4 hour layover, and get into New York at 4pm. 

Me: That sounds like an awful idea.

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Everyone at the party: Tommy, your phone’s still on hold.

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Mike D.: Hey James, is that the girl who threw up on you last night? 

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Brad: This game (kegball) is a lot easier to play without that bottle of Jim Beam at 3rd base. 

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Mike D.: Hey, come here and meet Heather.

Me (to Heather): You’re cute. You’re with him? Did you lose a bet?

Heather: I like you the most.

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Justen: I thought it was better if I stopped playing (kegball) for awhile. I was getting upset.

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Katie S. (about Tim Riggins): I just want to kiss him.

Lynda: I want his balls in my mouth.

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Kevin: So, I thought I had a tick bite on my neck, went to the Dr. to have it looked at. Turns out we’re about 90% sure it was a spider bite that explains my ridiculous hangover.

Me: Are you Spiderman now?